Short Sets: Movies I Saw Over Break by Chris Garton

Apocalypto, Starring Rudy Youngblood, Dalia Hernandez, Jonathan Brewer, Morris Birdyellowhead, and Carlos Emilio Baez. Directed by Mel Gibson.

Who it’s for: People who like heavy doses of realistic violence with their chase movies.

Who it’s not for: People who don’t like heavy doses of realistic violence.

There was a lot of talk prior to the premier of this movie of people boycotting this movie because of Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitic remarks he made while blind drunk one night. I would compare this to boycotting your barber because he is a Republican. Now obviously being a Republican is not quite so heinous a crime as slandering all the Jews of the world, but the point is that his personal views have nothing to do with the product or service he is providing you. Is Apocalypto itself anti-Semitic? It is set in Mexico before any Europeans had set foot on the continent, so no, it doesn’t have an anti-Semitic frame in its body.
The story centers around a young man named Jaguar Paw (Youngblood) who lives in a small village in the middle of the jungle. They are a tight-knit community of hunters, and for the most part they seem quite content. Jaguar Paw’s wife Seven (Hernandez) is pregnant with their second child, and life is good. Then one morning the village is attacked by vicious troops they have never seen before. These troops kill, rape, or capture everyone in the village, but Jaguar Paw manages to lower Seven and his son down a well not far from the village. The upside of this is that they aren’t found by the invaders. The downside is that Jaguar Paw is then captured and they have no way of getting out. Also, this particular well fills up with water every time it rains, and they are in the middle of a rain forest.
What follows are the exploits of Jaguar Paw as he is taken to a huge city, learns that he is about to be sacrificed, escapes at the last moment, and then leads his hunters on an amazing chase through the jungle, trying to get back to the well before what is left of his family drowns.
This is not much more than a glorified chase movie, but it is a great chase movie. Gibson knew what he was trying to do, and he delivered. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.


Eragon, Starring Edward Speelers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory, Robert Carlyle, Rachel Weisz, and John Malkovich. Directed by Stefan Fangmeier.

Who it’s for: Small children and people seeking a good laugh at these poor actors expense.
Who it’s not for: People who are familiar with the plots of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

I don’t have much to say about this movie, other than that I don’t recommend it at all, except to kids under 12, perhaps. Maybe kids under 10. There was not much in this movie that was original. It either stole from J. R. R. Tolkien (most of the base material), or blatantly plagiarized George Lucas. The plot goes something like this. A young revolutionary princess is about to be captured by evil forces, but she has in her possession a precious item that can help turn the tide of the war. She sends it to a remote location where it is discovered by a young farm boy. The youth seeks the wisdom of a local eccentric, who turns out to be more than he seems. Unfortunately, the evil forces have tracked the item to the boy’s home, and when he gets there one night, his house is burned to the ground and his uncle is dead. He sets off with his new mentor to rescue the princess, who is held within the evil kingdom’s dark fortress. While rescuing the princess, our hero meets up with a roguish character that he’s not sure he can trust. This coincides with the tragic death of the mentor, who sacrifices himself so that our hero can get away. The princess, the hero, and the rogue then make their way to the base of the outlaw rebels, who make ready for the assault that is sure to come, because our trio have been followed.
Now, am I describing Eragon or Star Wars? Answer: both. Substitute “dragon” for “Death Star” and you have Eragon. Substitue “Ben” for “Brom” and you have Star Wars. For sheer unoriginality, I give it ½ out of 5 stars.


Blood Diamond, Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly, and Kagiso Kuypers. Directed by Edward Zwick.

Who it’s for: People who prefer their moral outrage served to them while they are comfortably seated.
Who it’s not for: The squeamish.

The theme of this movie is similar to one of last year’s best films, The Constant Gardener: the exploitation of Africans by rich white corporations in the developed world. While The Constant Gardener was a superior work, in my opinion, Blood Diamond hits its mark thanks to the excellent performances delivered by all of its leading actors and the high intensity direction of Zwick.
The plot focuses on Solomon Vandy (Hounsou), a poor fisherman trying to get his oldest son through school so that he can be a doctor. His world is shattered by the arrival of a ruthless gang of thugs who call themselves “revolutionaries”, who proclaim that they will free the people of Sierra Leone from the government. They roll into town, shoot, maim, and kill many, capturing some of the younger males for indoctrination into the revolution, and some of the older males for slave labor in the diamond fields. Solomon is forced into the diamond fields, his son has an automatic rifle pressed into his hands. Diamonds are the currency of the revolution. They are traded for guns and rocket launchers by weapons dealers who then smuggle the diamonds out of Sierra Leone and into Liberia, where they can then be sold to diamond merchants from Europe. Danny Archer (DiCaprio) is one such smuggler. By a chain of events I won’t bother to explain, Danny and Solomon find themselves in the same prison, where Danny hears about an enormous pink diamond Solomon allegedly found and buried. Danny pulls some strings to get both of them out, and then tells Solomon that if he’ll take him to the diamond, Danny will help find Solomon’s family.
DiCaprio and Hounsou both give incredible performances, Leonardo as the emotionally hardened mercenary, at first concerned only with his own well being, and Djimon as the emotionally distraught father who couldn’t help his family. Jennifer Connelly was also very good as an outraged reporter trying to make the world right and as the eventual love interest to DiCaprio’s Archer.
What ultimately keeps this film from achieving greatness is a few too many cliché emotional scenes, seemingly stuck in the screenplay to placate the audience and give them something to cheer for. This is a movie that is crying out to be real, and I think for the most part it is. I give it a 4.5 out of 5.